Salt & Light

This is..

2009-09-06T21:44:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes it takes time for it to sink in
Sometimes it feels as though it has already sunk in
Reality maybe that it never actually sank in"

SICK!!

2009-08-17T08:52:00.001-07:00

Sick of studying law!!
Its like i feel like puking (physically)..
It sucks!!

Too quick

2009-08-09T03:26:00.000-07:00

I didnt expect it to be soo quick..
Not this fast..
But reality is what it is..

God, help me see this through.

Dumbfounded

2009-05-11T03:50:00.000-07:00

I m just utterly suprised that what seems "appropriate" is deemed "useless"

Only they can explain. Even then I would be baffled.

Tough to Comprehend 2

2009-04-30T23:50:00.000-07:00

I have 2 quotes that should serve as food for thought:-

"Sepandai-pandai tupai melompat, akhirnya jatuh ke tanah juga"

"Siapa makan cili, dia terasa pedas"

If time is of the essence, its running out.
If facts are of the essence, its running dry.

Tough To Comprehend

2009-04-20T07:42:00.000-07:00

I was having these thoughts for sometime now..
So i thought might as well lay it out somewhere..
So if it sounds tough to comprehend..its only my thoughts and opinions..

If A is a certain amount of total B, can that mean A is equavialent to B? Well if value A is 100% then it can be equavialent to total B, making B's total amounting to 200%. If A is only within the region of 20 at best, it certainly cannot double B's final figure.

Now, 1 ,2 and 3. If 3 comes after 1 & 2, can 3 be the ONLY number available. Surely not. Why? Because 1 & 2 had to happen before 3 took place.

Today when i woke up from a nap, i somehow had a phrase laid up in my mind..I thought i'll just leave it here..

"You cannot practice something you don believe and you cannot practice what you speak as long as you don believe it"

Cheers!

Out Loud!

2009-03-25T03:31:00.000-07:00

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

No regard

2008-12-08T20:21:00.000-08:00

That bond is gone..
It took time to build but now the 'ugly' side of good deeds are emerging..
But like that 'ugly' side, we're all humans and we all have our mean streaks..
Different mean streaks sets us apart doesnt it??
If yours is words, mine isn't..
If yours is a loose tongue, mine might be a flinging arm..
But rest assured, its not words that will hit you back..
More than words? Maybe..
Forgiveness? You pray and hope..

*don look thru beautiful lenses but through your shattered glasses*

Always

2008-11-14T01:35:00.000-08:00

Always have and always will consider this a loss..
Hoping and wishing decisions be reversed..

*sighs heavily*

Penned Thoughts

2008-11-13T05:49:00.000-08:00

Seems that destiny is placed above ones head long before he or she cant mouth a proper word isn't it?
Oh well..
You take, you explain.. Its fine..
You rob, you walk away and be merry.. You'll pay..
Not today, not tomoro but in due time..
Its sooner rather than later..

Rest In Peace, loved one

2008-10-14T06:50:00.001-07:00

I am thankfull for the times we were very much a family but things changed and as it was well said by someone "circumstances changes people", that was exactly what happened. Nobody wished for the breakdown almost 2 years ago and nobody wanted the bridge to stay broken. But it remained that way till this very day. Regardless of our opinions and thoughts, I agree that a loss of a loved one is still treated as a loss. Indeed your jovial presence and caring touch will be missed by us all. I never wished for you to breathe your last before I came but again life is not in our hands. The time and the seconds that you slipped away I wasnt there but I know you were in the presence of those closest to you.

Atthe, as you were fondly known to me, as you have gone before us to a better place, may your soul rest in peace. Thank you for the many times that I can hold as deeds and memories to remember.

" A face we all loved is gone,
The memories are left behind to be cherished
You will be forever beloved & deeply missed
May Your Soul Rest In Peace"

Flaws

2008-09-23T03:54:00.001-07:00

Just another person with as many flaws..
No different..
Gotten the chance which seemed elusive at one point..
Out to prove its worth it after all...

Quit..

2008-09-02T08:07:00.001-07:00

Quit..
If there was a better word i'd use it but there isnt..
Quit..

Why?

2008-08-19T09:07:00.000-07:00

If every "why" had an answer I'd be having more answered questions rather than unanswered ones.
Perhaps would be more happier with the answers too as favour seems to drift that way it seems..

*sighs oh well*

THANK YOU

2008-08-11T03:54:00.000-07:00

Well these past few weeks have had its fair share of ups and downs but to put it plainly it wasnt plain sailing. But as people say look for a bright spot or a silver lining and i found mine on saturday. I just wanna say a big Thank You to all of you who attended the party. It was indeed a memorable one and i was touched by the very kind gestures of all those present. A big Thank You to my sister and lee en for working together with my close friends to make it possible and though it was a combined party along with wei chin and ian's farewell, I just wanna say i was touched deeply and still am. Thanks for making my 19th birthday a memorable one. (Including the pool throwing time which I very much anticipated and enjoyed since it was soo HOTT).

Thank You to all who came. I cant list down everyone's name but you know who you are. Thank You all once again.. God Bless..

Never Easy

2008-07-28T03:31:00.000-07:00

When these things happen looking for answers isn't the wisest thing to do...
I tried searching for them and i guess i ended up hitting more brick walls than i'd ever thought i would..
Everytime i hear that chorus it seems to just bring this so difficult feeling within me and i guess i'll never be able to shake that feeling off...
The reason for that i guess its something only me & you know..

*never easy*

THANK YOU

2008-07-24T21:55:00.000-07:00

Thank You...

Phrase

2008-06-26T06:50:00.000-07:00

I heard this phrase sometime back..It goes like this

"If your heart is not where you feet is, then leave to where you feel it belongs"

I have no idea why this statement rings in my mind now and then, maybe cuz its somewhat true.

I just might be better off elsewhere now that i have considered all my conditions.

*wishing i had my answers*

Short of Answers

2008-05-27T07:21:00.000-07:00

I have so many "whats" and "why's" but I cant seem to get anywhere near an answer.
If I choose to let it be, it'll probably just linger on in my head for more days to come.
But ow well complaining doesnt get me anywhere.

-365 days feels a long way to go but cometh that day I'll know its a departure I face-

The Past Week

2008-05-25T07:55:00.001-07:00

Well this week has been a week of many finals. Champions League Final. American Idol Final. Haha. Well i shall begin wit American Idol. Haha. Both the DAVIDS! David Cook versus David Achuleta! Well really not suprising that these 2 were in the finals. They have been the most consistent and most outstanding. They've been in a class of their own and a million miles from the rest. So on that day who would it be? The rocker or the ballad singer?

Cook during the finale

Archuleta during the finale

Both the David's during the finale

So what happened? 3 songs on the nite. Simon said it belongs to Archuleta. Randy and Paula couldnt call it. Simon took back his comments on thursday saying it wasn't as clear cut as it first appeared. Would he be proven right once again? Indeed because this happened..

David Cook after the announcement that HE was the new American Idol!

Generous enough he congratulated and applauded David Archuleta, his closest challenger all season long. But he prevailed and He is the new American Idol

David Cook and the top 12 contestants after clinching the Idol tittle. HE sang "Time of my life" as his winning song.

Okay Idol aside lets move on to Champions League cuz it was Manchester United vs Chelsea. 2 English clubs. 2 of the best in England. Both vying to be the best in Europe.Who would prevail?

Well 26 mins on this happened..

Ronaldo heads manchested united into the lead!! woot!!

It was Man Utd that had the better chances and Chelsea levelled it right b4 half time.

Lampard scores to level the game at 1-1.

It stayed that way till extra time and with 5 mins to go this took place..

Didier Drogba sent off for slapping Nemanja Vidic. A stupid thing to do wit minutes to go. Did it cost his team? Well it eventually did because this happened first..

Cristiano Ronaldo , one of the most assured players in taking penalties missed( i somehow expected this to happen!!)

But that didnt matter cuz..

Van der sar saves from anelka and MANCHESTER UNITED ARE KINGS OF EUROPE!!

9 years after their second triumph they've added a 3rd Champions League trophy. Fergie said if they win the Champions Leagus this is the best side he has ever had. It certainly is now!!

The Kings of Europe!!!!

So thats the end of my post..

Everything To Me

2008-05-19T09:27:00.001-07:00

Everything to me
He's more than a story
more than words on a page of history
He's the air that I breath
The water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
He's everything, everything to me

*This is what i hope to sing out loud*

Answers

2008-05-18T09:28:00.001-07:00

Somehow i know i'll not stumble again.
Probably cuz its too hard.

The writing is on the wall.

Day to Forget

2008-05-15T08:58:00.000-07:00

Today is just that kinda day. A day to forget.Besides that msg nothing else stays in my head as something to remember or even ponder upon. ITS BECOMING INCREASINGLY FRUSTRATING!!WHY CANT THEY JUST FREAKING UNDERSTAND?? JUST WHY!!!

-its soo frustrating to continue-

From Within

2008-05-08T09:40:00.000-07:00

A simple statement for which a lot hangs upon
A simple statement that changes my view and yours
That statement is " This is for real"

First Day

2008-05-07T07:56:00.001-07:00

Well it was an eventfull first day back in coll after break. I had class at 10. I GOT away from the annoying lecturer cuz my course gets a different lecturer. So i get to be with a lecturer that is apparently more nicer & more popular wit students. I had lunch at mcd's. HERE is wat 2 hungry ppl ate. Me n kenny btw! haha * pics do the talking *

After lunch resumed classes till 5.30 when i thot it was till 4. Sigh. I left for home. The darn train was soo packed and it was soo inconvinient to travel. Ish. Really hoping my parents are more erm observant to this prob and allow me to drive. Anyhoes its an o--okay day. I've got a timetable tat reads 5 DAYS a week classes! So yeah. It tells a lot on how this sem is gonna look like. Sigh. But I'm sure its gonna be fine as time moves on. Til then chao!

Words

2008-05-03T08:26:00.000-07:00

Happenings change the course of life. Good or bad. Either way they matter. Hard to say if i ever had a more significant one which is worth my thoughts let alone worth my future moves and pursuits.

And incident that had nobody but myself to blame. What was intended for good never turned out that way but rather an 360degress turnaround. Left me lost for words and left me sorting an answer. An answer that deep me i already knew but i guess being human i just choose to not believe. Good point? Not really cuz i was left reeling from my own unbelief.

The effects of it? The stride forward becomes that very much more difficult. Sought for help? Didnt have to cuz it was around me but embracing it was the hardest. Truth was a bitter pil to swallow.

"A future is out there but embracing it and putting legs to dreams isn't a walkover"

Happenings

2008-04-30T04:47:00.001-07:00

Wah!Looks pretty long since this blog has had words written on it. Well things have been on a rollercoaster ride. Not so much of erm ups and downs but rather lots of time to ponder on lots of things. I m on sem break so there is soo much time to think of diff things. Seems complicated at times cuz i have set my sights on so many diff things and i guess i have it within me to pursue my new found goals but somehow there is an element of not really fear but fear that i may regret my pursuit.

Being in an unfamiliar position isn't nice cuz u cant really judge your future actions. You have not much of an idea on whats goin on. Sigh. Im there cz somehow the things that happen aren't new to most people but it is to me. Somehow i've never been down at that pit before and goin down the first time seems hard and seems that well its a lesson well learnt but it came the hard way. Guess there was a reason for the saying " There's always a first time".

And sure the first time is the hardest time. But getting thru it & surviving. So hope things turn out well.

"Pursuing what seems right in front of me seems right"

Unititled

2008-03-19T08:57:00.000-07:00

Another ordinary day. Come and gone. Got away wit wat anyone would consider "murder". I m so lazy to go into the details of what happen, but to cut a long story short. My group got away without doing an assignment & we have been given a much easier topic to write an essay on instead of practical work. Owh WELL . Pretty much really good luck! Hmm. Nothing besides that has been really really pleasing. Days have been long and tiring. nothing much insipiring as well. my exams are in like wat 2 weeks time?? my finals. owh its that time again where i gotta look at my books & cram my subjects into my head. ow well.

"what a man feels inside is often never said
cuz even if it was said, its never accurate"

"Would you look at her
She looks at me
Shes got me thinking about her constantly
But she dont know how I feel
And as she carries on without a doubt
I wonder if shes figured out
Im crazy for this girl"

Frustrations

2008-03-06T07:11:00.000-08:00

Well, its a been a very different week. I had a presentation on accounts today. Honestly i don't deserve what i got cuz i m not really all that good wit accounts and all. But somehow i presented well & got the marks for my group. Thank God for good results . To my team mates you guys were good as well.Thanks for being supportive. College work itself has been piling up wit loads to study & all. Then there is the personal frustrations to deal wit. Well there are things i personally feel that shud never have happened, and now that it has i guess its hard to just put it behind kinda thingy. Then there are just so many things i wished my family would support me.I mean why is it only when it comes to studies & all these things you support me but when it comes to my own desires you just sulk at every thing i suggest. I know you people would say "ow we did a lot when you were younger and you never lived up to expectations" or "you always dunno what's best for you". You know i think its ridiculous that you have an excuse every time for these things and honestly your excuses are probably dumb enough to fool a kid but hello i m 19!! These things just pile up every week and somehow when a week starts off well somewhere in de middle it collapses and again back to square one. It becomes a lousy odd week again! This is really really annoying and i somehow wanna freaking end it!!!!

Beyond Me

2008-02-25T08:18:00.000-08:00

Well, i've had studying & assignments to complete. Due dates for my assignments & my mid term exams are so close by. Arghh! But partially its my fault too cuz i should have completed the assignments earlier. Ow well. Guess the circumstances made that difficult!Ow well sometimes i havent realized how far i've gone from what i used to be. In more than one way or another. I mean i have become so used to the way i was living till i never took notice it wasnt even right. Well i thank God for friends who wit much love & care pointed out these flaws to me. It wasnt to offend i m sure. It was more of care & love that followed their actions.After that particular incident, well i m not all perfect but i m trying to get my life back on track. Its tough facing challenges but i m sure that HIS grace is sufficient to see me through. Yes i do admit that spiritually i've gone a long way off. Compared to my new years resolutions i made, i m a million miles away from that. And again i m not proud admitting i've fallen but it seems so hard to pick myself up to even start crawling let alone start walking again. I guess to all of these there isn't much to talk bout cuz the answer is found in HIM. I guess i wouldn write anymore out here. Stating the reasons isnt of any use! Back to my assignments. -sigh-

One Last Cry

2008-02-18T06:27:00.000-08:00

One Last Cry
My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf,
I saw you holding hands
Standing close to someone else

Now I sit all alone
Wishing all my feelings were gone
I give my best to you, nothing for me to do

But have one last cry, one last cry before i leave it all behind
I gotta put you outta my mind this time, been living a lie
I guess im down to my last cry...cry

I was here, you were there
I guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me

Still I sit all alone
Wishing all my feelings were gone
Gotta get over you
Nothin' for me to do

But have one last cry, one last cry before I leave it all behind
I gotta put you outta my mind this time, been living a lie
I know i gotta be strong cause my life goes on and on and on and onnnnn

Im gonna dry my eyes right after i have my
One last cry, one last cry before i leave it all behind
I gotta put you outta my mind for the very last time, been living a lie
I guess im down
I guess im down
I guess im down to my last cryyyyyyyyy"

The Way It Is

2008-02-18T06:11:00.000-08:00

Well its been so long since i've even blogged! I just have nothing appropriate to put in here! All that i wish to say i don think its right to put it up here! Frustrations are all i can sense around me! My exams are goin on! I really dunno why this seems appropriate but these lyrics are just what i feel like putting up. Not the best but its what thats been stuck in me for sometime. Its in the next post.

New Year

2008-01-02T03:08:00.000-08:00

Well as 2007 has just passed by, it all seemed to have gone by so fast isn't it? one moment i was starting aim & the next i was enrolling into college & the next i was done wit 2 semesters in coll & the next was a 2 month break along wit christmas pracs & all. Well in short it seem like a long year gone by so quickly but in all honesty the were days which were long & hard. Days that i wanted to come to an end fast yet it took almost eternity to do so. Well every event that took place last year definately had its reasons & in a way i've grown as a person. The tough times have made me stronger & makes me more aware of the things surrounding me & as 4 the good things well i've had memories to cherish & moments to look back on. When i took time before new years eve service to reflect on the year that has just passed before me, i somehow felt that it was a year full of ups & downs. Indeed life is a rollercoaster ride. The loss of loved ones & the strenghtening of friendships & the material blessings have all been a part of this year. All of this somehow has made 2007 what it was. Ow well 2007 has gone and 2008 has arrived. A new year wit new challenges. College has just started & i sorted out my timetable today. I only have classes for 3 days this sem. YAY! But still those 3 days are long classes too. 4 subjects this sem & i know i really cant play the fool anymore!! So even as it starts well i know whats expected of me & i gotta perform. The 2 months of holiday has definately made me really really casual. haha! I literally dragged myself to coll today!Guess that wud take time! Ow well , there are lots of things needing attention now. Well i hope this year will be a good year. Challenges will come my way & i hope i'll be able to overcome each of it! The good to be cherished & the bad to be made as an experience!
-Cheers-

Long Gone

2007-11-20T08:00:00.000-08:00

Well this blog hasnt been touch 4 like err ages. Yeeah i know. Never really had the time i guess. Well , lots of things have been happening off late!HMM. Dunno where to begin with actuall.Okay first things first i'll be getting the car soon. So at least a safer mode of transport to use n I consider it as God's blessing upon my life. Secondly i got a new CPU with all the specs i wanted n a rather cool casing too. Again i treat it as God's blessing upon my life. So these 2 things have been a new addition to me! Em personal issues well their almost the same. Nothing really that different! Well nowadays really bz wit Christmas pracs n all that.Yea its weeks of the same thing "its a merry christmas dayy... joyous holidayss.. bla bla...". But its still fun to go 4 cuz of frens company n all n more so cuz its ministry n its done unto God, so i give it priority. Besides that things are rather normal la. Youth meetings , going out , sports n pracs are my usuall daily routines. Added to that wud be err playing more games! Till the next time!!
-Cheers-

A week to remember

2007-10-26T08:46:00.000-07:00

well i guess its a week to remember cuz it had ups & downs. i mean exams are done with. then i went 4 the job interview n got it. though now i m kinda regretting it. i m regretting it not cuz the money isn't up to what i want. the money is lucarative but in all its not what i want. i never wanted an office job. i know its experienced gained but somehow at this time of the year n at this age i just dont wanna be stuck in an office enviroment. but i guess im gonna be done wit it in a month's time. just wanna pull thru n get the money n get out of there n enjoy wit friends n my family. but there were postives too. i got 2 new shoes. 1 DC shoes which my cuzin bought from singapore & another was my football boots. well the boots was a gift from my dad 4 my b'day. guess it was long overdued. but still happy enough to get it. its a blue n white predator.

this is the dc shoes. its comfortable like anything!!

MY PREDATOR!!!

well on sunday the i failed the boots la. i shud hv played a lot better but somehow wit things on my mind i failed the boots badly! will make up 4 it this sunday! so this week i hv been in work! not likeing it 1 bit but i guess i hv to pull thru somehow. its just been work,work,work,work n more work! sigh! anyways nothing more to say. cant wait 4 the weekend!laterzz!

Freedom!

2007-10-23T08:57:00.000-07:00

well i m finally done wit my exams!! yeah!! i had both my papers today. biz law & warehousing! biz law sucked to the max cuz the essay was lousy! damn hard & i guess i partially screwed that section! warehousing was okay & the questions were rather straightforward! i finished my exam bout 3.30. left the exam hall & headed down to the lobby!! there i just hanged around wit my frens 4 a while. then the goodbyes were said as most of us wont be seeing each other till next year. the short sem has eventually ended. n i hv learnt tat though i only know these ppl 4 such a short time i hv some really good moments in college. i hv had fun n had fun attending classes alongside these ppl. its been a good experience chit chatting in class n then cramming everythin one day before the exam!! hehe! (dennis n david n dinesh can identify wit this) well i must say i'll feel a bit different not seeing these ppl everyday. i guess its the same like school! anyways the sem has ended. i m now looking 4 a job i guess. goin 4 an interview tomoro. so i hope all goes well. till then this is what it is! laters!

4 of us

2007-10-18T03:58:00.000-07:00

well it was a usuall tuesday. i went to coll after the public holidays. i went in de morning at 8. i was suppose to go for biz law class. well as usuall the lecturer decided to cancel class with no prior notice. but who cares cuz i was in no mood to go for class anyways.i was suppose to meet darren here , rachel hoo n kenny 4 lunch. but darren here was to come bout 10 or so. so yeah i met him at mcd's at 10. we sat there n talked over breakfast. well a lot of things to talk when i n him meet up wan!! then bout 11 plus kenny n rach joined us. again we started talking but this time we decided to give up the claypot chicken rice we wanted to eat. we decided to go lepaking somewhere else. so we headed to kenny's place. he dropped his car off n then we headed 4 the curve!! we went to borders n we're loooking at some books. not me n darren though!! rach bought a book of her choice n we wanted to eat in ikea but then the meatballs wasnt available. so we headed down to ittalianies. we ordered pizza & pasta. guess it was ideal cuz we spent bout almost 2 hours plus talkin n talkin n talkin. all the stories resurfaced!!! it was a good time n it was interesting too.. * ahem ahem* sure interesting cuz stories wat!!!! then we left ittalianies n went to drop off rach n kenny. darren here dropped me off then. i came back showered n got ready to start studyin. exams coming!!! noooo!! so yeah. had to study!! a lot more to cover!!
anyways i m off for now!! back to my books!!! latersss!!

The Hols

2007-10-15T05:59:00.000-07:00

well my hols began on friday. thursday was a rather dull day but friday was fun. i woke up bout 9 plus then i got ready. left for one u. went with sister n dad. we were wondering wat to do but we started wit bowling like we initially planned to. bowling was fun. i had a bad start to it but i managed to regain my lost touch & soon i was hitting the pins like b4. after bowling decided to walk around for a while. then we went to hv lunch at italliannies. i enjoyed my milanese chicken & pizza that we shared. food was good. decided to walk around more n saw some stuff i was keen on buying come the year end. then we left one u headed straight to one u. picked mum up n went home 4 tea. after having tea i just worked out a lil n got ready to go 4 prayer meeting. prayer meeting started at 8 & concluded as usuall at bout 9.30. came back home 4 dinner & then spoke to piggy 4 a while. then, went to bed. tired alredy by then. saturday came. woke up real late forgetting tat i had choir practice. rushed to daniel's place n followed him to youth. suppose to spend the whole day out nstay over at his place. suppose to be at a shop called "telepon" to celebrate tim's b'day. but tim was not feeling well so that plan was called off. i went 4 dinner wit daniel n then went back to his hse. took my car n left 4 home cuz daniel had to go 4 a function. i went home n took a shower. watched the england game.total waste of time. it was so freaking boring!! daniel picked me up bout 2am n left 2 his hse. reached his home.played computer till bout 3.30am. then slept n woke up to sing in cheras next morning. yes we sang at ucsi my college( sigh) . after singing i left 4 dh. i followed parents back home. i hit the bed straight away. was tired but i left home bout 2 to head down to klang. i was staying over at my cuzin's place. we reached bout 4. spent time at different relatives homes b4 finally goin to mu cuzin's place where i was stayin over. it was fun though. played ps2 till bout 4 am. while playing we talked bout different experiences we'll had gone thru the past yr. we had a lot to catch up on cuz we havent spoken 4 a real long time. then came monday. i woke up n had b'fast. watched tv a lil n soon got ready to go hang out in sunway pyramid new wing. well it was fun. we cought up wit other cuzins n spoke even more. bout 7 i reached home n now yeah i m writing this blog. well tat was how my 4 days on holidays went. back to coll tomoro. not something i want to do bt well i hv only a few more days left. my finals are on the 23rd. then i m off for 2 n a half months. well thats how it went. hoping 4 dis weekend to come!! wanna play football!!

Weekly update

2007-10-04T18:09:00.000-07:00

This week has been rather average la. monday nothing special. went home rather late after some work in coll. went 4 dinner wit my cuzin n all.tuesday rather the same. bz wit assignment n all. went 4 a drink wit piggy. wednesday spent the whole afternoon till night wit piggy. went 4 movie. the movie was good. i enjoyed it. very hilarious!! chuck n larry!!! hehe! thursday had biz law presentation. planned to escape by giving some stupid reason basically. but then yea some group members still wanted it done so no choice. was no where near my best to be able to present well but i guess i'll take wateva that comes. its been that kinda week! today is friday n yet another presentation. thank God i m done wit all these presentations by today. looking forward to the weekend!! guess the week had its ups n downs. ups wud be goin out wit piggy n all! downs i guess lack of sleep cuz of my workload as well as some other minor issues! basically thats it!!

Sucky Day

2007-09-19T09:05:00.000-07:00

Somehow today seems a lil sucky la. Its like i wanna let u know so many things but yet haiz i really dunno why i cant express it. Wats holding me back??I dunno!! Well the others stuff were just normal i guess. College well just as usuall. Hectic & full of jokes & all the usuall stuff. Nothing special today. Like its been a rather frustrating & sucky day. The issue is the same. Its hard to talk to u but its my own weakness cuz its me who is not opening up! Nothing more to say la! A rather frustrating day ends!! ~sigh~

Sunday

2007-09-16T09:02:00.000-07:00

the day began quite diff from all sundays. i went 10.30 service! service was good! learnt once again that despite ANYTHING what so ever HIS grace is sufficient for me. For us. I hv definately learn that burden was lifted. i felt it totally of my shoulders. after service went lepak wit the bunch of us. it was fun. hanged out after lunch & all. talked all sorts of crap!i"ll definately remember "chin tower & wong tower". Dan n ben jin, u'll have the wildest imaginations la. Then sang for 5 o'clock service. Was a good time of worship for all. Then , went to play football. Nothin great on the field but yea just average. Then, went dinner wit dw. Was good catchin up wit him n chattin bout some good stuff. All in all it was a good day. Tiring at the end but yea good in most ways. Less stress. Great time wit friends. So yeah. Its a new week! A new beggining! Expecting great things! YEAH!!!

Dream Car

2007-09-13T01:14:00.000-07:00

Today, normal day basically. college and usuall stuff. the unsuall? ferari f430! man i saw that car and i was like wow! seen many of them before but today maybe cuz it was a dull day.. so yea i think i woke up after seeing that car!! man its an awesome car!superb torque!elegant look! everything bout that car is admirable.

Is that my dream car? Well its a dream car of sorts though.I mean realistically no one would choose to refuse an f430. Its probably any man's dream to ride in something like that! But yea i do have 1 personal favourite dream car so to speak. Thats the lamborgini murcielago!This 1 just has to be the car probably any living human wish they owned! brilliant.

Full view of the car. Awesome beauty!! Menancing speed!!

Its interior!Beautiful!Just amazing basically!
Its a dream car today , hopefully it'll be the one i ride in someday!!=)

Days Passing

2007-09-12T07:00:00.001-07:00

its been so long since i last posted anything. more than a month. reason being i just didnt wanna see all the previous post. well things certainly are much brighter now. the past still hurts but moving on doesnt seem to be to hard.
last wednesday i took my results for my previous semester. well suprisingly i had 2A's B n the sad part is i flunked 1 paper. i was seriously annoyed cuz well i did put in effort for that subject so to screw it up like that was really urgh!! i spoke to the lecturer but to no avail. who cares la? let that woman be!! i'll retake the sub & make sure i get thru this time. overall i am pretty happy wit the results. happy tat i m the haighest for economics in my faculty. so now the new sem has begun. things look good. more friends. more fun. more studyin. but yea coping well!!
anyways its been a good start to the new semester. its a short 1 though. only 7 weeks.
well things look good & i am hoping it stays this way!!

just not right

2007-08-09T08:30:00.000-07:00

well, its again one of those times where the answers will just either never be right or the answers u want them to be. well i don mind it being the answer i want but at least i rather get the right kinda answer. but i dunno when u'll ever know. i dunno if u'll ever know.but i tell u my dear friend , whatever u see its not what it seems. its just not true. when the truth comes out, i hope u'll realize that all this while i hv been tryin to say it 4 ur own good. i never did anythin like this before just to prove the truth. but i did it confidently this time knowing i m right.
mich, when u find out all the truths remember i am a friend who wont close the door. though everyone may come up 2 u n say that "i told u its gonna happen", i wont say that. i know there is more in u which will eventually come out. i pray that u may find happiness n all that u need in life. i hope u realize sooner rather than later why i m warning u bout wats gonna happen. i wouldn be writing it out here if i knew it was a lie. i m writing it cuz i m hoping someday u'll get to read it. i want this to be the real evidence.

mich, he said those words back in kl sentral & the reason i sweared is that u may know its de truth.i never did that before. i usually leave it to people as to whether they wanna believe or not. but 4 u i m wanting u to fully believe it not 4 any reason. just so that u don go thru all de pain. i just wanna help. not cuz i wanna make a good name or anythin. its 4 u. really just 2 help u. but i wont force u to believe. i m telling wat i heard. i was there.

mich , i know from our time together that u loved these songs so much. so i just thought i'll let u know that its something that i like very much too. i wont put up de lyrics but from these 2 songs u'll know how much u mean to me.
the songs are on my display..

take care..

this is for you

2007-08-01T08:05:00.000-07:00

my dear friend,
i know one day you will get to read this. its the hardest thing i have had to do.it was hard while deciding. as painfull as it is for me to do it i hope one day u will reap the benefits of this my dear friend. its not easy leaving u & all the memories behind. i really dont know how i am going to go through things without you. whatever it is remember michelle stay strong. remember that you are in control of every situation. don break down under any situation. stay strong my dear friend. lastly, though things are not the same anymore. i just want u to know that i am always praying 4 your happiness & well being. Regardless of my scars, i still care 4 you michelle. i still care. i dunno what things may be like in the future but i do know that i'll always remember you. i'll cherish all the memories n times spent together. you were different michelle from the rest. i appreciate you for all you've done. thanks for everything. take care where ever you are my dear friend. before i sign out i just want u to know once again , that if you fall , i'll be there as a friend to pick you up.

take care michelle..

crushed

2007-07-22T02:40:00.000-07:00

sometimes i sit n wonder why did i ever change?if only i wz the old person. the eric who never agreed to long term relationships. i watched a movie before which said that everybody has a place in life n its pointless to think that u can really go very far from ur destiny. well some ppl have of cuz travelled beyond their destiny. but for me i think its merely a far fetched dream that may never or likely never to happen. when i started de relationship everythin looked perfect. understanding as she was yet so caring yet so loving. today where is all that??all i have is mere bitter n painful memories. i put my past behind. i put my old self behind just to keep u happy. u were special in so many ways. i thought i knew u were de one. unfortunately life has a different tale for everyone. i sacrificied , i compromised , i agreed to things which u did tat i knew were gonna harm the relationship. all because i wanted u to be happy. You promised me a lot n u fullfilled all those promises until march dis yr. things when down. i dunno why. i gave my all to u. today i look back. like u said many times in the past i was ur source of happiness.u said that i always kept u happy. i picked u up when u fell.u said i wz there for u. i still wanna be there for u. my heart still wants u back. no doubt u were special to me. i m writing this blog as a clear indication on how i hv been feeling this last couple of weeks. if i wz someone who never did anythin for de relationship, then i accept what i get. but i did more n beyond my own capabilities for u. in the end... all i hv is a shattered relationship.. broken beyond healing..it hurts..

my friends who view this blog especially my aim classmates n my church frens this explains my disappearance from church. it also explains why my health went down. it explains why i hv been the way i m in church. i know i m not the old eric n even as i write this blog i m not de old eric. the hurt is there. i doubt it will ever heal. the scar i hv is beyond healing. but i'll never fail to thank u guys who were there 4 me.i will not mention names cuz all of guys were there 4 me. thanks again. i hope one day i will return as the old eric.
a blog like this doesnt usually come out of a guy but its how much i hv been broken inside. crushed , broken and depleted.

Magical moment!

2007-06-27T08:36:00.000-07:00

hahah!! sunday came! didnt start well. argument wit her! didnt sort things out well too!came de time 2 play football!!well i started of normally.average la. as the game went on i found a lot of joy playin down de wing. until one moment in de match. got de ball off another player. raced 2 it n hammered it. wat made is chun was it was de outside of my foot.haha. which means even harder la!!it dipped n swriled pass de keeper!! haha. personally was happy 2 score a goal like that cuz its been a dream 2 score from a volley. haha..so great strike. relationship got better too. things settled. so yea!!a bad starting to de day which ended up all well in de end!

Reminder

2007-06-27T08:21:00.000-07:00

it wz a normal day last friday. one of my friends came into college. like normal we crapped around n waiting 4 lecture 2 start. then we happened to be talkin bout all de so called "bad boy" things one dis guys has done before. well to my suprise he suddenly told a story which seemingly wasnt true yet striking enough that i will not take it lighlty.he received a phone call from his distant relative.his relative hardly ever calls him but today well she did! she called him n began to say things like if u die today where will u end up?where will u spend eternity? where will u belong to 4 eternity?ma fren being ma fren just stood rather dumb-founded! well she spoke a while telling him that things of this world currently arent so good n so on n so forth. she left him wit 2 main points. even king solomon who had 700 wifes quoted tat nothing under de sun can satisfy n she reminded him tat where we spend eternity is in our hands!!its scared me at firstn but it reminded me eventually wat i gotta do to make it!

college exams!!

2007-06-20T19:06:00.000-07:00

yeah!!done wit almost all my papers 4 midterm.only 2 papers left. suddenly finishing exams seem like school once again.just tat coll is slightly more fun but just as stressfull.well economics wz tough bt "do-able". erm business paper wz well rather simple.honestly.. come on la lecturer wat were u thinkin of giving questions like that? waste of time!!..well gotta go prepare 4 de last 2 papers!!boredoom n tiredness strike yet again!!

Flashback

2007-06-13T19:15:00.000-07:00

30 april 07. a normal day for many not for me. gained somethin but began to lsoe somethin more valuable. I got my driving license n well a sign that i hv grown up. Not really. The very next incident well yea brought me down. i began to lose my relationship with a loved one n before long it affected my family ties. ever since that day it hz been sleepless nights n sorrowfull days. i dragged myself to college , dragged myself to church n almost everythin i did , i did it half-heartedly. things never got better ,infact in began to get worse as time went on. i reached a point where giving up on life seemed 2 be de only way out. thank God that He has his own ways of revealing things. Indeed, God raised up caring friends to lend a listening ear. more so he sent friends to reveal his plan that all things are not dead just yet. a week ago i realised why giving up on life wud hv been such a waste. my relationship wasnt all dead yet. there was some hope n today i can stand sayin that indeed things hv worked out for de better. what seemed dead a month ago is now being revived n its back on the right track. i found a bunch of caring friends willing to go the extra mile.In all i wanna thank everyone who stood by me n those who consistently encouraged. thanks guys. appreciate every bit of the help i got. thanks again.

The Begining

2007-06-13T08:12:00.001-07:00

It a new blog ^.^