crushed

sometimes i sit n wonder why did i ever change?if only i wz the old person. the eric who never agreed to long term relationships. i watched a movie before which said that everybody has a place in life n its pointless to think that u can really go very far from ur destiny. well some ppl have of cuz travelled beyond their destiny. but for me i think its merely a far fetched dream that may never or likely never to happen. when i started de relationship everythin looked perfect. understanding as she was yet so caring yet so loving. today where is all that??all i have is mere bitter n painful memories. i put my past behind. i put my old self behind just to keep u happy. u were special in so many ways. i thought i knew u were de one. unfortunately life has a different tale for everyone. i sacrificied , i compromised , i agreed to things which u did tat i knew were gonna harm the relationship. all because i wanted u to be happy. You promised me a lot n u fullfilled all those promises until march dis yr. things when down. i dunno why. i gave my all to u. today i look back. like u said many times in the past i was ur source of happiness.u said that i always kept u happy. i picked u up when u fell.u said i wz there for u. i still wanna be there for u. my heart still wants u back. no doubt u were special to me. i m writing this blog as a clear indication on how i hv been feeling this last couple of weeks. if i wz someone who never did anythin for de relationship, then i accept what i get. but i did more n beyond my own capabilities for u. in the end... all i hv is a shattered relationship.. broken beyond healing..it hurts..

my friends who view this blog especially my aim classmates n my church frens this explains my disappearance from church. it also explains why my health went down. it explains why i hv been the way i m in church. i know i m not the old eric n even as i write this blog i m not de old eric. the hurt is there. i doubt it will ever heal. the scar i hv is beyond healing. but i'll never fail to thank u guys who were there 4 me.i will not mention names cuz all of guys were there 4 me. thanks again. i hope one day i will return as the old eric.
a blog like this doesnt usually come out of a guy but its how much i hv been broken inside. crushed , broken and depleted.