No regard

That bond is gone..
It took time to build but now the 'ugly' side of good deeds are emerging..
But like that 'ugly' side, we're all humans and we all have our mean streaks..
Different mean streaks sets us apart doesnt it??
If yours is words, mine isn't..
If yours is a loose tongue, mine might be a flinging arm..
But rest assured, its not words that will hit you back..
More than words? Maybe..
Forgiveness? You pray and hope..

*don look thru beautiful lenses but through your shattered glasses*

Always

Always have and always will consider this a loss..
Hoping and wishing decisions be reversed..

*sighs heavily*

Penned Thoughts

Seems that destiny is placed above ones head long before he or she cant mouth a proper word isn't it?
Oh well..
You take, you explain.. Its fine..
You rob, you walk away and be merry.. You'll pay..
Not today, not tomoro but in due time..
Its sooner rather than later..

Rest In Peace, loved one

I am thankfull for the times we were very much a family but things changed and as it was well said by someone "circumstances changes people", that was exactly what happened. Nobody wished for the breakdown almost 2 years ago and nobody wanted the bridge to stay broken. But it remained that way till this very day. Regardless of our opinions and thoughts, I agree that a loss of a loved one is still treated as a loss. Indeed your jovial presence and caring touch will be missed by us all. I never wished for you to breathe your last before I came but again life is not in our hands. The time and the seconds that you slipped away I wasnt there but I know you were in the presence of those closest to you.

Atthe, as you were fondly known to me, as you have gone before us to a better place, may your soul rest in peace. Thank you for the many times that I can hold as deeds and memories to remember.

" A face we all loved is gone,
The memories are left behind to be cherished
You will be forever beloved & deeply missed
May Your Soul Rest In Peace"

Flaws

Just another person with as many flaws..
No different..
Gotten the chance which seemed elusive at one point..
Out to prove its worth it after all...

Quit..

Quit..
If there was a better word i'd use it but there isnt..
Quit..

Why?

If every "why" had an answer I'd be having more answered questions rather than unanswered ones.
Perhaps would be more happier with the answers too as favour seems to drift that way it seems..

*sighs oh well*

THANK YOU

Well these past few weeks have had its fair share of ups and downs but to put it plainly it wasnt plain sailing. But as people say look for a bright spot or a silver lining and i found mine on saturday. I just wanna say a big Thank You to all of you who attended the party. It was indeed a memorable one and i was touched by the very kind gestures of all those present. A big Thank You to my sister and lee en for working together with my close friends to make it possible and though it was a combined party along with wei chin and ian's farewell, I just wanna say i was touched deeply and still am. Thanks for making my 19th birthday a memorable one. (Including the pool throwing time which I very much anticipated and enjoyed since it was soo HOTT).

Thank You to all who came. I cant list down everyone's name but you know who you are. Thank You all once again.. God Bless..

Never Easy

When these things happen looking for answers isn't the wisest thing to do...
I tried searching for them and i guess i ended up hitting more brick walls than i'd ever thought i would..
Everytime i hear that chorus it seems to just bring this so difficult feeling within me and i guess i'll never be able to shake that feeling off...
The reason for that i guess its something only me & you know..

*never easy*

THANK YOU

Thank You...

Phrase

I heard this phrase sometime back..It goes like this

"If your heart is not where you feet is, then leave to where you feel it belongs"

I have no idea why this statement rings in my mind now and then, maybe cuz its somewhat true.

I just might be better off elsewhere now that i have considered all my conditions.

*wishing i had my answers*

Short of Answers

I have so many "whats" and "why's" but I cant seem to get anywhere near an answer.
If I choose to let it be, it'll probably just linger on in my head for more days to come.
But ow well complaining doesnt get me anywhere.

-365 days feels a long way to go but cometh that day I'll know its a departure I face-

The Past Week

Well this week has been a week of many finals. Champions League Final. American Idol Final. Haha. Well i shall begin wit American Idol. Haha. Both the DAVIDS! David Cook versus David Achuleta! Well really not suprising that these 2 were in the finals. They have been the most consistent and most outstanding. They've been in a class of their own and a million miles from the rest. So on that day who would it be? The rocker or the ballad singer?




Cook during the finale



Archuleta during the finale



Both the David's during the finale

So what happened? 3 songs on the nite. Simon said it belongs to Archuleta. Randy and Paula couldnt call it. Simon took back his comments on thursday saying it wasn't as clear cut as it first appeared. Would he be proven right once again? Indeed because this happened..



David Cook after the announcement that HE was the new American Idol!

Generous enough he congratulated and applauded David Archuleta, his closest challenger all season long. But he prevailed and He is the new American Idol




David Cook and the top 12 contestants after clinching the Idol tittle. HE sang "Time of my life" as his winning song.


Okay Idol aside lets move on to Champions League cuz it was Manchester United vs Chelsea. 2 English clubs. 2 of the best in England. Both vying to be the best in Europe.Who would prevail?


Well 26 mins on this happened..




Ronaldo heads manchested united into the lead!! woot!!


It was Man Utd that had the better chances and Chelsea levelled it right b4 half time.




Lampard scores to level the game at 1-1.


It stayed that way till extra time and with 5 mins to go this took place..





Didier Drogba sent off for slapping Nemanja Vidic. A stupid thing to do wit minutes to go. Did it cost his team? Well it eventually did because this happened first..





Cristiano Ronaldo , one of the most assured players in taking penalties missed( i somehow expected this to happen!!)





But that didnt matter cuz..





Van der sar saves from anelka and MANCHESTER UNITED ARE KINGS OF EUROPE!!

9 years after their second triumph they've added a 3rd Champions League trophy. Fergie said if they win the Champions Leagus this is the best side he has ever had. It certainly is now!!






The Kings of Europe!!!!



So thats the end of my post..

Everything To Me

Everything to me
He's more than a story
more than words on a page of history
He's the air that I breath
The water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
He's everything, everything to me

*This is what i hope to sing out loud*

Answers

Somehow i know i'll not stumble again.
Probably cuz its too hard.

The writing is on the wall.

Day to Forget

Today is just that kinda day. A day to forget.Besides that msg nothing else stays in my head as something to remember or even ponder upon. ITS BECOMING INCREASINGLY FRUSTRATING!!WHY CANT THEY JUST FREAKING UNDERSTAND?? JUST WHY!!!

-its soo frustrating to continue-

From Within

A simple statement for which a lot hangs upon
A simple statement that changes my view and yours
That statement is " This is for real"

First Day

Well it was an eventfull first day back in coll after break. I had class at 10. I GOT away from the annoying lecturer cuz my course gets a different lecturer. So i get to be with a lecturer that is apparently more nicer & more popular wit students. I had lunch at mcd's. HERE is wat 2 hungry ppl ate. Me n kenny btw! haha * pics do the talking *





After lunch resumed classes till 5.30 when i thot it was till 4. Sigh. I left for home. The darn train was soo packed and it was soo inconvinient to travel. Ish. Really hoping my parents are more erm observant to this prob and allow me to drive. Anyhoes its an o--okay day. I've got a timetable tat reads 5 DAYS a week classes! So yeah. It tells a lot on how this sem is gonna look like. Sigh. But I'm sure its gonna be fine as time moves on. Til then chao!

Words

Happenings change the course of life. Good or bad. Either way they matter. Hard to say if i ever had a more significant one which is worth my thoughts let alone worth my future moves and pursuits.

And incident that had nobody but myself to blame. What was intended for good never turned out that way but rather an 360degress turnaround. Left me lost for words and left me sorting an answer. An answer that deep me i already knew but i guess being human i just choose to not believe. Good point? Not really cuz i was left reeling from my own unbelief.

The effects of it? The stride forward becomes that very much more difficult. Sought for help? Didnt have to cuz it was around me but embracing it was the hardest. Truth was a bitter pil to swallow.

"A future is out there but embracing it and putting legs to dreams isn't a walkover"

Happenings

Wah!Looks pretty long since this blog has had words written on it. Well things have been on a rollercoaster ride. Not so much of erm ups and downs but rather lots of time to ponder on lots of things. I m on sem break so there is soo much time to think of diff things. Seems complicated at times cuz i have set my sights on so many diff things and i guess i have it within me to pursue my new found goals but somehow there is an element of not really fear but fear that i may regret my pursuit.

Being in an unfamiliar position isn't nice cuz u cant really judge your future actions. You have not much of an idea on whats goin on. Sigh. Im there cz somehow the things that happen aren't new to most people but it is to me. Somehow i've never been down at that pit before and goin down the first time seems hard and seems that well its a lesson well learnt but it came the hard way. Guess there was a reason for the saying " There's always a first time".

And sure the first time is the hardest time. But getting thru it & surviving. So hope things turn out well.

"Pursuing what seems right in front of me seems right"

Unititled

Another ordinary day. Come and gone. Got away wit wat anyone would consider "murder". I m so lazy to go into the details of what happen, but to cut a long story short. My group got away without doing an assignment & we have been given a much easier topic to write an essay on instead of practical work. Owh WELL . Pretty much really good luck! Hmm. Nothing besides that has been really really pleasing. Days have been long and tiring. nothing much insipiring as well. my exams are in like wat 2 weeks time?? my finals. owh its that time again where i gotta look at my books & cram my subjects into my head. ow well.

"what a man feels inside is often never said
cuz even if it was said, its never accurate"


"Would you look at her
She looks at me
Shes got me thinking about her constantly
But she dont know how I feel
And as she carries on without a doubt
I wonder if shes figured out
Im crazy for this girl"

Frustrations

Well, its a been a very different week. I had a presentation on accounts today. Honestly i don't deserve what i got cuz i m not really all that good wit accounts and all. But somehow i presented well & got the marks for my group. Thank God for good results . To my team mates you guys were good as well.Thanks for being supportive. College work itself has been piling up wit loads to study & all. Then there is the personal frustrations to deal wit. Well there are things i personally feel that shud never have happened, and now that it has i guess its hard to just put it behind kinda thingy. Then there are just so many things i wished my family would support me.I mean why is it only when it comes to studies & all these things you support me but when it comes to my own desires you just sulk at every thing i suggest. I know you people would say "ow we did a lot when you were younger and you never lived up to expectations" or "you always dunno what's best for you". You know i think its ridiculous that you have an excuse every time for these things and honestly your excuses are probably dumb enough to fool a kid but hello i m 19!! These things just pile up every week and somehow when a week starts off well somewhere in de middle it collapses and again back to square one. It becomes a lousy odd week again! This is really really annoying and i somehow wanna freaking end it!!!!

Beyond Me

Well, i've had studying & assignments to complete. Due dates for my assignments & my mid term exams are so close by. Arghh! But partially its my fault too cuz i should have completed the assignments earlier. Ow well. Guess the circumstances made that difficult!Ow well sometimes i havent realized how far i've gone from what i used to be. In more than one way or another. I mean i have become so used to the way i was living till i never took notice it wasnt even right. Well i thank God for friends who wit much love & care pointed out these flaws to me. It wasnt to offend i m sure. It was more of care & love that followed their actions.After that particular incident, well i m not all perfect but i m trying to get my life back on track. Its tough facing challenges but i m sure that HIS grace is sufficient to see me through. Yes i do admit that spiritually i've gone a long way off. Compared to my new years resolutions i made, i m a million miles away from that. And again i m not proud admitting i've fallen but it seems so hard to pick myself up to even start crawling let alone start walking again. I guess to all of these there isn't much to talk bout cuz the answer is found in HIM. I guess i wouldn write anymore out here. Stating the reasons isnt of any use! Back to my assignments. -sigh-

One Last Cry

One Last Cry
My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf,
I saw you holding hands
Standing close to someone else

Now I sit all alone
Wishing all my feelings were gone
I give my best to you, nothing for me to do

But have one last cry, one last cry before i leave it all behind
I gotta put you outta my mind this time, been living a lie
I guess im down to my last cry...cry

I was here, you were there
I guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me

Still I sit all alone
Wishing all my feelings were gone
Gotta get over you
Nothin' for me to do

But have one last cry, one last cry before I leave it all behind
I gotta put you outta my mind this time, been living a lie
I know i gotta be strong cause my life goes on and on and on and onnnnn

Im gonna dry my eyes right after i have my
One last cry, one last cry before i leave it all behind
I gotta put you outta my mind for the very last time, been living a lie
I guess im down
I guess im down
I guess im down to my last cryyyyyyyyy"

The Way It Is

Well its been so long since i've even blogged! I just have nothing appropriate to put in here! All that i wish to say i don think its right to put it up here! Frustrations are all i can sense around me! My exams are goin on! I really dunno why this seems appropriate but these lyrics are just what i feel like putting up. Not the best but its what thats been stuck in me for sometime. Its in the next post.

New Year

Well as 2007 has just passed by, it all seemed to have gone by so fast isn't it? one moment i was starting aim & the next i was enrolling into college & the next i was done wit 2 semesters in coll & the next was a 2 month break along wit christmas pracs & all. Well in short it seem like a long year gone by so quickly but in all honesty the were days which were long & hard. Days that i wanted to come to an end fast yet it took almost eternity to do so. Well every event that took place last year definately had its reasons & in a way i've grown as a person. The tough times have made me stronger & makes me more aware of the things surrounding me & as 4 the good things well i've had memories to cherish & moments to look back on. When i took time before new years eve service to reflect on the year that has just passed before me, i somehow felt that it was a year full of ups & downs. Indeed life is a rollercoaster ride. The loss of loved ones & the strenghtening of friendships & the material blessings have all been a part of this year. All of this somehow has made 2007 what it was. Ow well 2007 has gone and 2008 has arrived. A new year wit new challenges. College has just started & i sorted out my timetable today. I only have classes for 3 days this sem. YAY! But still those 3 days are long classes too. 4 subjects this sem & i know i really cant play the fool anymore!! So even as it starts well i know whats expected of me & i gotta perform. The 2 months of holiday has definately made me really really casual. haha! I literally dragged myself to coll today!Guess that wud take time! Ow well , there are lots of things needing attention now. Well i hope this year will be a good year. Challenges will come my way & i hope i'll be able to overcome each of it! The good to be cherished & the bad to be made as an experience!
-Cheers-